Giving feedback training II

Peter Writes:
The tool is to ask the recipient how they thought they did.

My own experience is that they will level better and more accurate criticism atthemselves than they would ever accept from anyone else.

>>>David Adds:
Peter, you are so right on the money here! (in my opinion of course!).
I have always found the so called "models for feedback" to be somewhat "mechanical". I find that many folks are very awkward giving this thing we call "feedback".

What I find most interesting is that each person is capable of giving their OWN feedback by using their OWN feedback when asked as you state above.

People get feedback from their actions all the time and if we allow them to say what they saw/felt many things can be discovered.
Of course, there are some folks who only see the other person or the situation as the "problem" which requires adifferent set of questions that lead back toward the individual and away from the other person or the situation.

There are some groups of people like athletes or actors who want and need feedback and even look forward to it because their entire perception of the word "feedback" is a more positive and receptive one.

They understand that it is anecessary tool that helps them learn and grow and move the "team" or the "show" to a higher plane.

Sometimes it's a video tape and sometimes it's verbal but either way; feedback is important.

It's not nearly as personal in those arenas (a generalized comment)In business or organizational life feedback is not necessarily so widely wanted (another generalization).

I had a client who when asked: "How they thought they did? in a meeting that turned negative say "I did fine, John instigated this mess like he always does!" Rather than focus our attention on John I asked,"John did what he did and we can address that in a minute but my question to you is what did you notice about your own actions or behavior in the room?"

This time I received an answer that was a more accurate reflection of his behavior and actions which provided us a place to further the dialogue.

Thanks Peter for the great post!--

David Breslow
The "Root Cause"
CoachPerformance Success Strategies
www.theflowzone.net